The flight attendant just announced “If you don’t like any of my jokes, there are six exits” and told us where the emergency exits are it was actually the best
"for those of you who are traveling with children… WHY"
"if you’re changing to a flight with a different airline, we don’t care."
he said “okay now get out” once we landed i’m pissing myself
(Source: rvmanoff, via avengersincamphalfbloodstardis)
My brother decided to use my bathroom and that was fine, but five minutes later I hear singing and he’s singing to the tune of “What’s This” for the Nightmare Before Christmas about various products I keep in the bathroom.
“What’s this, what’s this?
There’s products everywhere.
I think it goes in hair.”
if you don’t think you are very smart or funny or good looking or whatever then maybe just try to focus on the things that are great about you… like maybe you are good at remembering birthdays or important days, or you are gentle and kind with animals, or you are good at being patient with children or you have mastered the art of roasting marshmellows to perfection…. you don’t have to be Einstein or a top model to celebrate yourself
literally the best text post on tumblr